A Hunker Hunker Burning Love

A timely DE, as we all must hunker down in these trying economic times!

Disturbingly Cute

This would be kinda cute if it didn't look like it was crossed with Frankenstein's Pit Bull!

Amazing Wooden Articulated Horse From Hell

I wanted one of these when I was in art school...granted, not one quite so disturbing!

I'm so Pretty, and so Disturbing!

A Bratz Horz cross-bred with a Barbie Horse and partially cloned into an Aardvark embryo. That's the best I can come up with!

Hmmm. Someone's allergic and has to stay away from horses?

The perfect solution if you want to ride a horse, yet stay as far away from them as possible!

A Celebration of the Funrise Company

I'd never heard of the Funrise Company when I was a kid, but I tell you, I would have KILLED to have these fun little horsies in my carpet herd! They're bloated and lumpy and odd and have oversized genitals, but they're COOL! In a disturbingly fun sort of way.

Funrise Warmblood (it's trotting, and it's brown. Ergo, a warmblood!)

Tennessee Walking Horses! Well...they're walking...and they're horses! Works for me!

Guess what this is. If you guessed a Turkoman, hey, you're right!!! One nice feature of the Funrise horses is that they print the breed's name on the toy's belly, so even if you look at one and go "WTF is THAT supposed to be?" you can flip it over and it'll tell you!

This one's not so easy to guess. Unless you guessed Thoroughbred!



Hmm...let's see...pinkish purply-grey...weird splayed back legs...heavy edema in the lower legs, why, it must be a Funrise Sicilian Horse! Heck, we all knew THAT, didn't we?



A beautiful pair of Shires! It's the odd fat telescoping necks that give it away, isn't it?



Okay, I don't want to read any complaints about solid-legged tobiano Pintos, and the Funrise Company doesn't want to hear it either!



Keeping it simple, these are just called Palominos. Cute little black-dot nostrils though!


Funrise Mustang (gee, a Mustang that's not rearing, what's with that?)


A pair of Morgans, according to the Funrise Company.



Why bother sculpting a piece into a cool pose like a Levade or Piaffe, when you can portray your Lipizzan model standing on all fours?



No, not Strawberry Shortcake's horse, unless she rides a Knabstrupper!



This one just screams "Akhel Teke"!!!! Too bad Funrise calls it an Icelandic Horse! With a dog dinky!


This little fella's so homely he's cute, with his fat little feet and swollen face and little black piggy eyes. All the more enduring for a Highland Pony.



I'm ashamed to admit I have no idea what a Dunord is, but Funrise says this is one, so, enjoy.



Cute little red dun Brumby!



A Breton, the beef cow of the horse-eating world!



A Batak...another new one on me!



Okay, now I know they're smoking something at Funrise...this is supposed to be an Arabian! Yeah, easily identifiable as such guys. Guess they don't have many Arabians over there! Of course there's also the possibility that the eBay seller who had these listed made a mistake. Too bad I sold off all my Funrises or I could double-check.



Yaaah, this one's easy! Appaloosa with cute little spats!



And the magnificent Andalusian!



Last but not least, and in reverse alphabetical order, the famous Albino! Why his hooves are black, I don't know, unless he's heading for a horse show!

Thank you Funrise Company, for entertaining horse-crazy kids over the decades!

It's Eating Me! It's EEEEEEATING MEEEEE!!!!

Proof that Disturbing Equines have been around a long, long time! I wonder how much this carnivorous duo did bring at auction?

Whatchoo Lookin' At???

Part Clydesdale, part Peeping Tom!