Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Super Idea, Meh Execution

This is a cool idea...the Breyer Merrylegs pony, remade into a bowing Unicorn. Cool, except for the disturbingly jointless rubbery forelegs and the non-weight-bearing left hind leg! Biomechanics, people, are your friends!!!

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Jeepers Creepers, Where'd You Get Them Peepers

From a recent eBay auction...and the seller even points out the distinctive windows of the soul on this hapless thing! Bleeesh!

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Friday, August 8, 2008

Handicraft or HandiCrap

I had some trepidations about posting this one, since the person did work very hard on them, but then, they're just wire-wrapped glitter-coated SAFARI horses, for gosh sakes. So here they are to shock and awe:

The googly blue bead eyes are a nice touch:

Unspeakably Disturbing

I'll give the good folks at ShopGoodwill.com credit; they harbored about one of the dang most disturbing equines in this entire blog!

"Hidey Ho, Good Neighbor! I'm Lenny, The Mutant Pig-Horse! How you-all are!"

No bids on his auction yet. Wonder why.

An Oldie But Goodie

C'mon, who didn't at least WANT one of these kits!! I sure did, but had to settle for the "Visible Man" who provided entertainment for hours on end. I think I still have his skull somewhere around the house.

But O, I did want this, because, well, duuh, it's a HORSE!

Look, it comes with a big bag o' bones and plastic guts! How fun could that be!

Yummm....Vital Organs! I can't tell if this is a boy or a girl horse though... not from those vital organs anyway. (come to think of it, the Visible Man didn't have any special vital organs...but the Visible WOMAN did)

Of course, assembly is required. I wonder how many veterinarians got one of these when they were kids!

Puppets Are Disturbing No Matter What The Subject

There's something off-putting about any kind of puppet, but these are spectacularly so.

shopgoodwill.com, your source for disturbing equines!

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

More Dead Horses

The Marx Company Strikes Again!

I'll admit, I would have killed to have these when I was a kid!! And they WERE available back then, but we opted for the Marx Cape Kennedy rocket ship playset instead of the Civil War set. Maybe my parents saw the dead horses and didn't think it'd be such a great idea. They were probably right.

Friday, August 1, 2008

Don't Blame Me, I Didn't Create This One

I believe the person who did this lives in Europe. That might explain a lot!

Old Man Breyer is spinning in his grave!

Only thing that puzzles me...

Is how big is the rider's butt for that saddle!


Bloaties are a unique model horse phenom, where plastic models do not have a vent hole and are exposed to extreme hot temperatures. The heated air has no place to go, so the model expands! When one of these special horses appears on the horizon, it's a rare collector who will welcome them into their collections!

Breyer "Romer" with a new, expanded look:

Breyer "John Henry" beautifully bloated:

Breyer Family Arabian Stallion, exhibiting the unique neck distortion of many bloaties:

And THE most famous bloaty of all, THE Bloaty:

Bad enough it's a painted rock

Guess they had to fill up that empty space somehow...

Okay...I'm seriously weirded out by this one

Yeah, I want THAT sitting on the edge of my monitor, looking at me...always looking at me...

Hell, I'd be smiling too!!!

All those Ming Dynasty pottery horses had to come from somewhere!!!

Thursday, July 31, 2008

Etchy...or Yecchy

The tack is almost as disturbing as the ringworm infesting this poor thing!

Guess What This Was

Right now it's a crabby evil blue-eyed Llama!

And no, it wasn't a FAS....but it WAS a popular model horse before looking like something that rolled on the floor of a barber shop!

You put your right hoof out, you put your right hoof in

You put your right hoof out and shake it all around...do the Hokey Pokey...yadda yadda!

And yes, I do believe this used to be a FAS! But hey, look how happy he is!

Here's a great tip for customizers

Don't like how the neck came out on your custom? Hide it under the mane! Don't like how the withers came out on your custom? Hide it under the mane! Don't like how the topline came out on your custom? Hide it under the mane!

Lovely paint job though!

Life in outer space!

Because there's sure no gravitational field where this horse is running loose!
Submitted by Suzanne Feld

Talk About Old-Style Bulldog QHs...

More Bull than Bulldog! My hind fetlocks would collapse if I had all that weight too!

Don't know what's more disturbing...

The blotchy purple color....

Or the weird unbending legs

A Moldy Hackney and its Parasitic Twin

Bad enough to be afflicted with a resin horse equivalent of the Elephant Man's disease, but to have a little humanoid parasite attached to your butt...that's the last straw!

If Elasta-Girl Had a Mule...

...it could do this too!

I'm Melllllting! Mellllllting!

Oftentimes hobbyists will soak their models in a bleach mixture to whiten them up or to strip the paint. Sometimes hobbyists mistakenly use pure bleach. Sometimes hobbyists leave the models in waaaay too long. And that's when things like this happen:

Tip-Toe, Thru The Tulips...

Daintily picking our way, hopefully to a veterinarian to have that big abscess on our neck lanced! Nice color though!

Bloaty Jr.

I lost out on the bidding for this disturbing little fella, but I have his picture, by gum!

I'd look astonished, too!

If I began galloping off and found my back leg inexplicably immobile!

Some things don't NEED to be made into models...

O, I could do a whole Blog on birthing models.... but I won't

I love the expression on the mare's face..."what the HELL????".

Then there's this one. This customizer has done an entire series of mares giving birth, and my dream (nightmare) is to be able to highlight each and every one of them here!

Hmm, that mare's expression is also "What the HELL?" Maybe it's a universal Mare Face when they discover a super-huge foal with no hind legs has popped out of their butts!

Or maybe she's concerned she's about to be run over by that giant car in the background! Run Away!!!

Y'Know, some Tilex would clean up that mildew problem

Guess the summer's been so humid, even the models have stuff growing on 'em.

Clowns are scary enough...


Breyer Clones Are Disturbing!

Remember that bit in "Alien 4" where Ripley finds all those mutant deformed clones of herself? Yeah, kind of like that.

Quack... no...Whinney.... no...Quack?

I'm speechless. Totally.

Freaky Multi-Headed Hydra Hand Horse from Hell


Here's Looking At You, Kid

For some reason I'm reminded of Wallace & Grommit. CHEEEESE!